The finances of divorce can be confusing. This article will help you understand the process more fully.

By Deborah Denson

INFORMED CONSENT is a legal, ethical, and moral standard that is of great importance in divorce. It can be defined as voluntary consent based on a full understanding of all of the information disclosed. What does this mean in divorce? It means that there is a presumption that you know the value of the assets you are keeping or giving away, that you understand the implications of your decisions, and that you understand all of the options available to you and potential outcomes before you make any decisions and sign on the dotted line.


If you want to keep the marital residence, for example, has there been a home inspection to identify any major repairs you will be liable for? Have you performed a title search to see exactly how your home is titled and if there are any unknown liens against your property? Your spouse can transfer the title to you, but the only way to get the mortgage in your name only is to refinance. Have you spoken to a mortgage broker to see if you will qualify to refinance your home loan without your spouse’s income? If you decide to sell your marital residence, are you eligible for a capital gains exemption?



What are the different types of alimony? Some types of alimony are modifiable and may change if your spouse loses his job or has a reduction in pay. Some types of alimony will end if you get remarried. Some types of alimony are considered part of the division of assets and are taxed differently.


Are our retirement plans being divided in a way that avoids penalties and adverse tax consequences? Do I need a QUADRO?


Child Support varies from state to state, but basically it is a formula applied to the earned income of both parents plus adjustments for health insurance and child care costs. The result is a Child Support Order. Typically both parents are expected to contribute to the financial support of their children, so even if you are not currently working, an income may be imputed. In Tennessee, Child Support ends when the child is 18 or graduates from High School, whichever is later. Check your laws so you will know how to plan.

These are only a few of the financial decisions you will be making. Get a clear picture of your assets and debts, and then seek out someone who can go over it with you. Do you have a Divorce Financial Planner in your area?

Information is power and goes a long way to make sure that the decisions you are making are informed and will really get you what you are hoping for.

Deborah Denson is a Conflict Management Coach and Mediator with a passion for Nonviolent Communication. She shares divorce resources and NVC resources on her website Deborah shares personal stories about relationships, struggles, and moments with beauty as Tawanda Bee at

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About the Contributor:

DeborahHeadShot-267x300In her own words: “As a Mediator and Conflict Coach, I help people talk about things so they don’t have to fight …with themselves or anyone else. My practice is based on the principles of Nonviolent Communication, the most effective way I have found to compassionately connect with others. Sharing what I have learned personally and professionally is my way of adding a little peace to my world.

I have a lot of life experience that I share on my personal blog under the moniker Tawanda Bee. I write about my struggles and my joys and what it looks like to live whole heartedly one day at a time. I love hearing other people’s stories because it helps me remember I am not on this journey alone.”